"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29
Over the past few weeks, I've carried this emotional weight on my heart, since I have had to surround myself with a place in which I was not appreciated for the work ethic and energy I consistently gave. If you have read my past posts, or know me personally, I have addressed the issues I had in my childhood home. Constantly I felt like my worth gradually felt less and less, and I was taken advantage of when it came to my giving, selfless heart. Over time, I realized I needed to get out of that environment ASAP, so I did. Unfortunately, we are all challenged with new obstacles. Self worth has always been a recurring issue for me, and is for many.
I have learned to stand up for myself, and I have grown into loving myself, due to the people in my new home and their constant reassurance. Since the problem of belittlement was such a prolonged abuse at home, it hits an emotional soft spot in other areas, too. In these past few weeks I have realized that an environment I thought was healthy, was actually dragging me down in the same way my home did for 17 years. With defensive, harsh language, I approached the conflict with more emotions than I should. Though I knew I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, I let my emotions take full control of my conversations and with the conflict in general.
Although it was blatantly wrong for the atmosphere to have been that way, I should have taken a step back, taken a breath, and approached my conflict with an assertive, but respectful tone. I find that a lot of times, when I get really upset and hurt, I put these emotional walls up that can only be broken with a steady prayer, a calm heart, and an open mind. I truly wish I had overcome that issue with more maturity. As the bible verse reads at the top, we do not need to let any unwholesome language leave our mouths, so that others listen, instead of tuning us out. While approaching ANY conflict, it is VITAL to make for certain that the words and tone we use while expressing our issues, are both helpful and of good intentions.
When you are faced with a conflict that poses a lot of emotional challenges for you, take those emotions by the reigns, and reel them back in. I promise you that not only will the conflict resolve itself more smoothly, but it will make for a resolution of good terms with you and the problem itself. God has an unfailing, forgiving being like no other, and stops at nothing to assure us of that. No matter how big or small, our sins do not define us in his eyes. We are wholeheartedly loved, in spite of the mistakes we make everyday. I challenge each and every one of you to overcome your upcoming and current challenges with this in mind, taking a calmer, more thoughtful approach to the conflicts that spark an emotional reaction. I hope this post reached out to you some way, and I hope you all have a very blessed weekend! I'll catch up with you next week!
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