“Since we live by the spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” galations 5:25
Hehe heyyy! Welcome back to another post! I’m so thankful you’re here! If you’re wondering what today’s topic is, the title of the blog infers to what I would call myself sometimes. Letting people walk all over me, being inflicted by their words and actions, and simply LIVING to please everyone possible is still a constant struggle I endure day by day. So many people LIVE to make others happy. For a long while, I thought this just meant I was a really nice person, giving me a trait of serving others. However, it was not until recently that I realized I was seeking others approval, rather than the Lord’s.
SO BADLY I wanted to be friends with everyone. I wanted to know their issues, sort them out, and simply help them with anything they needed. This story to this day stuns me, because I’m like, “Micah. Literally you got nothing out of this except for sleep deprivation.” BUT here goes. Any who, I was a freshman at the time, and I was friends with this small group of people who I hung out with everyday at school. I will NOT be naming names haha, but one reached out to me and they mentioned they were struggling with note cards due the next day. MY HUMAN DOORMAT MENTALITY SAID, “Oh my gosh! Let me do it! I got you!”
Turns out, they wanted me to write 150 vocabulary words for a class they were taking, with a detailed, colorful image on the back, and a definition on the front. Mind you, I already had two subjects in which I had homework in, but I was not about to make this person look badly on me in ANY way. So, I had three cups of coffee, sat in my bedroom floor, and grinded out 150 GORG Vocab cards. I ended up finishing at 4am with school the next morning. For what? A little appreciation? No. I wanted a ,”Wow, Micah is so sweet and caring. I’ll keep being her friend!” Type of response. This is SO EMBARASSING, I KNOW! But, this is how I lived for most of my life!
At home you would find me making dinner most nights, getting waters and tea for everyone, cleaning rooms, doing their laundry, etc. All I was seeking was approval, anything to make them appreciate and value me. In return, I got the same kind of ,”Thank you” from my family, as the kid who I did the flashcards for. A basic, boring, certainly not heartfelt thank you. My heart would always get hurt in the end, but I kept at this job of a human doormat in hopes someone would give me the response I wanted.
Being this dedicated to making others happy, caused me to severely neglect my happiness and well-being. I would show up to school exhausted, dressed in pajamas, even (My PJ’s being sweats). Eventually, the issue got SO BAD that I got thrush. Thrush, if you’re unaware, is when your immune system is incredibly low, due to the lack of nutrition, sleep, and water you have experienced. These can cause bumps and extreme sensitivity to your whole mouth. YES. It got that bad! I put others before myself SO MUCH that my body was just shutting down; in all honesty, I needed a LONG time to heal and get in check with good eating habits and self care.
Where I am getting at with this ramble, is that there is no person on this Earth that should take away your feelings of self love. There is nobody who is worthy of you thinking you are not good enough. There is NOBODY that is going to give you the approval you TRULY want and need. The only person that can give you the reassurance of your worthiness is God. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, he is loving you. He is holding your hand. He may not be visible to the human eye, but he is absolutely present in all things you go through.
To wrap this up, we should wake up with Jesus on our minds, instead of seeking others approval or reassurance. We need to walk with God, living to please HIM and make HIM proud of all the work you have put in to be the best version of yourself. In the end, he is ALL you have! There is no need to put yourself through absolute Hell for the people who do not care. Needless to say, be kind to everyone! But, do not waste your time and energy on people who do not deserve it. They will never give you the reaction you want. Thank you so much for reading today’s post, and I hope you got something out of it! See you next Friday! :)))
Comments